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Channel: Blog-It Llama! » Time Travel Guide
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Y’all varmints just got served!

It’s a well known fact that, in the old west, groups of ill-mannered ne’er-do-well cowboys would roam the vast plains, searching for any town with inhabitants foolish enough to square off against them...

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The 1260th amendment

  Due to a peculiar mis-wording in the 126th amendment, at first it was only legal for dogs to time travel. This law was immediately repealed after the first dog to be sent through time, Sir Scruffles,...

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Call Me Dr. LoveBot

In the future, robots are everywhere, and they’re here to help. They come in a variety of forms, enabling them to fit any function that the consumer has need of. Some have abilities suited for simple...

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Terrifying movie sequels that await us in the future

Ernest Borgnine’s Colon- A Smell-o-Vision Adventure! (narrated by Morgan Freeman) Lee Harvey Oswald: The Adventure Begins Pinhead vs. Pumpkinhead vs. Howdy Doody Basic Instinct: Interrogation...

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The Adventures of Ben Franklin, History’s Crankiest Nudist!

A time traveler by the name of Jerome Goldberg once visited colonial America and found his time machine to be completely without power. After approaching Benjamin Franklin, Jerome carefully explained...

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Famous historical people that you’d least want to hang out with because...

-Martha Washington: Aside from being a well known schizophrenic, she’s also quite the kleptomaniac. If you invite her to a dinner party, don’t be surprised if the next day you see all of your...

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Game Shows That Are Totally Scary In The Future

4 vs. 1? I don’t like this guy’s odds. Elimidate 3rd Degree You Bet Your Life Duel Guts Survivor 1 Vs. 100 Who Wants to be a Millionaire (or, as it’s known in the future, Who Wants to be a...

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Child Pickpockets from the Future!

Child pickpockets are not cute, they’re a bloody menace. For much of the 23rd century they cast a dark cloud of scourge across Great Britain. The entire region was brought to a near standstill as no...

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Tea-Bagging: The Most Ancient Respect a Man Can Give

The act today known as ‘teabagging’ was, in ancient times, a method of showing admiration to a fallen enemy. Baring one’s testicles in battle was considered akin to baring one’s soul, and was the...

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Going backwards while going forwards!

More commonly known as Earl Gomgom’s Syndrome, Chronus Reversus is an affliction wherein the afflicted individual steadily progresses backwards through time rather than forwards. If you catch a bit of...

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Kids- Time Travel and Magic Don’t Mix!

If a magic spell is what you used to travel through time, for heaven’s sake say the spell correctly. Many a time traveler has unwittingly unleashed an army of darkness upon the land, just because they...

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Memoirs of a Time-Traveling Transvestite Geisha

Despite the rampant ways that time travelers have suffered excruciating and diverse deaths, most spend their entire lives without ever once dying, or, at the very least, without dying more than once,...

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Time Traveling Hook-ups!

Time traveling hookups are, in general, a terrible idea. You never know whose great-grandmother/father’s pants you’re sticking your hand into, and you might be really messing up someone’s bloodline by...

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The top ten historical figures who most frequently meet time travelers

10. Napoleon Bonaparte 9. Joan of Arc 8. Marie Antoinette 7. Napoleon Dynamite 6. Billy the Kid 5. Cleopatra 4. King Arthur 3. Albert Einstein 2. Genghis Khan 1. Abraham Lincoln It’s also important to...

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